HEARTBROKEN

WELL YESTERDAY AROUND 5 PM I HAD THIS REALLY HORRIBLE PAIN IN MY RIGHT ABDOMINAL REGION. IT WAS ALMOST TAKING ME TO THE GROUND IT HURT SO BAD. MOM WAS GETTING SCARED AND SO WAS MICHAEL. SO THEY SAID THEY WERE GOING TO TAKE ME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. SO THEY WE WERE ON OUR WAY TO CARL ABLERT. I EXPLAINED EVERYTHING TO THE TRIAGE NURSE, THROW UP A FEW TIMES. THEY DID URINE AND BLODD WORK. THEN THE DOCTOR ASKED IF THEY WAS ANY WAY THAT I WAS PREGNANT. I TOLD HIM WE WERE TRYING, BUT THAT I HAD TOOK A TEST LAST WEEK AND IT CAME UP NEGATIVE. SO ABOUT 20 MINUTES LATER, HE COMES IN HOLDING A PIECE OF PAPER, AND SAYS SURPRISES ARE JUST THE BEST. HE HANDS ME THE PAPER AND RIGHT NEXT TO HCG, IT SAID POSITIVE. ALL I COULD DO WAS START TO CRY. MY MOM WAS ALMOST CRYING AND ALL I COULD THINK OF WAS I GOTTA GO TELL MICHAEL (WHO WAS ASLEEP IN THE CAR) FINALLY I HAD GOTTEN MY WISH...I WAS FINALLY PREGNANT. THEN I LOOKED AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE AND IT WASN'T MY NAME. AND NOT 2 SECONDS AFTER I ASKED THE DOCTOR, THE NURSE CAME IN AND SAID THAT WAS THE WRONG PAPER. THE GIRL NEXT DOOR TO ME, WHO THOUGHT SHE HAD THE FLU WAS PREGNANT. THE DOCTOR MIXED THE PAPERS UP. THEN ALL I COULD DO WAS REALLY CRY. FOR JUST THAT BRIEF SECOND EVERYTHING THAT WE HAD HOPED AND WANTED WAS GOING TO COME TRUE, AND JUST THAT FAST, IT WAS A LIE. THE DOCTOR KEEPT TELLING ME HE WAS SORRY. MY MOM CAME UP HELD ME AND KEPT TELLING ME IT WAS OKAY, THAT IT'LL HAPPEN. SO AFTER X-RAYS AND EXAMINES, I HAVE THE BEGINNING STAGES OF KIDNEY STONES. YEAH!!! SO NEEDLESS TO SAY THAT LAST NIGHT WAS NOT THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE. I WAITED TILL WE GOT HOME TO TELL MICHAEL WHAT HAPPENED, AND HE GOT REALLY MAD. AND HE JUST HELD ME WHILE I CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP.I'M NOT MAD AT THE DOCTOR, I KNOW STUFF LIKE THAT HAPPENS. I THINK I'M MORE MAD AT MYSELF FOR GETTING SO EMOTIONAL BEFORE I HAD AN ABSOLUTE CONFIRMATION. BUT I'VE BEEN GETTING BETTER. I'M NOT UPSET WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THEY'RE PREGNANT. I DON'T GET DEPRESSED WALKING BY THE BABY ISLE. AND I'VE STARTED TO RESEARCH ADOPTION AGENCIES. SO WE'LL SEE HOW THINGS GO. ALTHOUGH IT HURTS MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WE STILL HAVE LOTS OF TIME. I'VE JUST GOT TO KEEP TELLING MYSELF THAT.